(653.) Start.......Finish 12/05/06 10:07 P.M.
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Where do my rights end?
And yours begin?
Does your religion pick up,
right where mine left off?
For I have no religion,
and I suppose yours is now mine
For it is based off absolution,
no?
Fact is overcome by religion!
but does your religion overule my liberty?
I want to be free,
just as much as you.
You got to choose your religion,
now let me choose mine
you've had your turn
(654.) I Envision Endless Fields 12/10/06 11:22 P.M.
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I yearn to walk alongside mountains
And traverse men's watery graves
Notepad in my palm
And loud speakers in my ears
Tellng me of long lost loves
Absolute truths
along with whatever else
makes the world turn
I'd eat mana scraped from the dew
Then write a few verses about how I miss you
I'll act out one man plays
For no audience
Letting my imagination run
Stopping to allow my brain to catch up
Then explore some more
Pretend I'm an aeroplane
Arms spread wide
Running through an endless field
but I'm sitting here
peering over logic's grave
Keyboard under my fingers
And loud speakers sitting in sight
Telling me of New York
and grasping at the unattainable
along with whatever else
tickles my fancy
Eating food barely passable
As itself
Writing out what I'd like to do
if I had someone to miss
Acting out a one-man play
With God as my audience
My brain is racing
And my imagination can't keep up
There's nothing new to see
Pretending I'm lonely
Heart open wide to welcome
And not having a hard time
filling the role
(655.) Believing In God 12/14/06 11:06 PM
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I never stopped believing in God you see
it was him who stopped believing in me
He'd always be there rooting from the stands
Clapping thunder such as hands
I would tell him of my day
He would always listen to every word I say
Then one day he stopped being there
And I looked everywhere
God was just gone
I didn't know how to go on
I'm still looking for his face
As I miss his warm embrace
Truly this is a place of God
Why would man live his life based on fraud?
Maybe he was just an imaginary friend
Only God will know in the end
(656.) You Lied To Me 12/18/06 1:00 AM
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You lied to me
As I rested there,
passing away
Gasping for breathes that just weren't there
I stared up at you
There was no sympathy in your eyes
And that hurt worse than dying
(657.) Reflectors 12/18/06 1:06 AM
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Each reflector on the road passed by quickly
In a never ending numbing pattern
Every one reminded me of another memory long past
So I drove a little faster
(658.) He Offered Me Two Drinks, I Accepted The First 12/18/06 1:09 AM
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I sipped from a dark cup
It spilled over the sides with malice
Tasted such as hell
And it made me want more
(659.) I'm Tired 12/18/06 1:27 AM
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I'm tired of waking up
And having the world come crashing down on me
I'm tired looking up
And having God spit in my eye
I'm tired of going up
And having my wings burned off
I'm tired of climbing up
And being kicked right back down
I'm tired of showing up
And having no one care
I'm tired of throwing up
And realizing there's nothing in my stomach
I'm tired of growing up
And realizing more about the world
I'm tired of sitting up
And feeling the weight of your guilt push against me
I'm tired of filling up
And knowing I'll never be full
I'm tired of sticking up
And being attacked from both sides
I'm tired of thinking up
And never having my ideas appreciated
I'm tired of putting up
And not seeing an end to the torment in sight
I'm tired of building up
And never reaching my goals
I'm tired of setting up
And having you knock it all down
I'm tired of waking up
And I'm going to bed.
(660.) Guardian 01/03/07 1:56 AM - 2:01 AM
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I'm not sure why she does it
Or if she really does
Sometimes her words are so empty
Yet she still puts her heart into them
In hopes that somehow blood will course through them
And bring the words right off the screen
She's just bleeding all over nothing
Making sacrifices to a God she doesn't believe in
Who may not even exist
But she's trying
And I admire her for that
The amount of faces I see
That smile back at her
Astounds me
Once we had a conversation
Where her words weren't empty
And I think she thought I was one of them
One of the downtrodden orphans of life she took under her wings
She realized something in me,
I'm not sure what.
But she saw it
And her words to me are empty
I fear at times,
that I am what she shields the world from
That great evil we all tremble before
No one's trembling before me
But so many tremble after
(661.) To My Daughter, 01/03/07 2:02 AM - 2:03 AM
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when you arrive I will make you a crown of stars
And teach you that you are queen of all you see
But you must never touch
Without permission
(662.) To My Son, 01/03/07 2:03 AM - 2:06 AM
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when you arrive I will make you a blanket from my dreams
And you will keep warm when you are young
Tie it round your neck to show you are a hero when you are older
And you will sleep with it till you grow old
But you must mend it with your own dreams
Make sure it still keeps you warm
Someday it will warm your son
(663.) Which Girl Shall It Be? 01/03/07 2:07 AM - 2:08 AM
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I realized,
As I looked over all the one-of-a-kind designs
They were all the same
With little variances between them
I still couldn't find the one I was looking for
So I kept browsing
(664.) For Future Reference 01/03/07 2:09 AM - 2:12 AM
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I apologize,
You don't deserve what I've done
But I have done it
And that can never
ever
be undone
This should not be a poem,
but I'm keeping it here
so one day
when I'm older
I'll read it
And apologize
once more
(665.) Old And Decrepit 01/03/07 2:13 AM - 2:16 AM
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I want my mind to grow older than my body
So that I may still talk
when I can no longer move
Tell them not to do what I have done
Tell them how to live their lives
Tell them of all the world I saw
And still be able to realize I'm not talking to anyone
(666.) How Stereotypical 01/03/07 ? - ?
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Is it wrong of me,
to want to be him?
Just to prove them all wrong....
(667.) She May Never Read Of This, Let Us Hope She Does 01/03/07 2:20 AM - 2:25 AM
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I am entranced with the thought of you
But repulsed by the touch
So I become a cur
And treat you odiously
How far I truly have fallen
(668.) The Home I Shall Build 01/15/07 ? - 10:43 PM
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I am only as big as my smallest insecurity
So I will take off this armor
And go out into the world to show my weakness
I will take advice from anyone willing to give it
I will try anything once
Take nothing more than I need
Leave with nothing less than gained knowledge
Teach me of your world
I will teach you of mine
Show me where the Earth ends
Then we shall find where it begins together
I'm not here to impress
Merely to watch the world
I'll take my time
Not yours
Never shall I live on borrowed time
Borrowed life
or borrowed money
Make my own world
Live in it
And welcome anyone who wants to come in
From my own depths will I build this home
A home of love
of dreams
of lessons
of life
of me
(669.) Soft Flesh 01/18/07 6:58 PM - 7:00 PM
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Her flesh was softer than mine
Her words more callous
Freckles dotted her nose
I so longed to connect each one with my finger
She wouldn't allow me to touch her
So I never asked to
(670.) Continued At A Later Date 01/18/07 7:01 PM - 7:02 PM
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Would you be so kind as to move?
I seem to be late to work
We won't be going anywhere if I can't drive
Walk with me, we will talk
You sit there
I stand here
We'll continue our lecture later
(671.) 01/18/07 7:06 PM - 7:07 PM
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I love you,
I always will
My words aren't near as strong
As my actions
But my actions would scare you
And you don't want to read my words
So I'll write them for me
Because I know how much they mean
(672.) Falling Stars 01/25/06 2:56 AM - 2:56 AM
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I keep jumping from falling star
to falling star
Because I'm having too much fun
Always crashing down
(673.) Consolidating The Library 02/06/07 11:25 PM 11:31 PM
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Three thousand little lifetimes
Spread out over eight minuscule days
Building up like bodies after the bombing
Each one told me a different tale
From being born to multiply
To dying to see tomorrow
I didn't hear every speech
I closed their mouth from time to time
I can't handle all those worlds
Just all the world
Give me time
Give me reason
And I'll tell you
The season
In which I'll die
But only if you listen
To a lifetime
(674.) Him There 11:32 - 11:3
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He screamed some more
His fist raised
He looked into my eyes
I never flinched
never blinked
He rubbed his hand in pain afterwards
I just stared at him
Calm
With all those words in my eyes
That would shatter his soul if I spoke them
And he knew
He saw something in my eyes
And he knew
He would never make that mistake again
And I knew
I was better than him
(675.) Smarter 02/09/07 1:37 A.M. - 1:44 A.M.
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I calmly shared my words with him
He wanted to scream so badly
But he cared too much of what random people thought
He didn't want to make a spectacle of himself
Just last week he preached to me about not caring
About how others viewed him
I apparently don't know my father
I'm the closest person to him
But he swears I don't know him
I've spoken to his ex-wives
His mother
His siblings
His daughter
My brother who might as well be his first child
And they all agree with me
But ofcourse,
None of us know him
He is the universally misunderstood
Martyr for his beliefs
He's playing his film
From a projector onto the wall
But he's putting a stain glass window
Inbetween the two
Apparently it's our fault
For not getting to know him
"I AM SMARTER THAN YOU."
He screams at me
I'm nearly 18 years younger
Than he was when he first made all those mistakes
It's not as if I learned his lesson
Just today either
I knew when I was 5
"Mom, I will never be my father, or my brother."
I remember saying that to her
I remember her smiling
He's more experienced
but sometimes experience doesn't mean
a thing
if you don't know how to use it
I know for a fact he'd make the same choices
As he did back then
if he could
But he's too old
too unattractive
too hated
To have the same power
So he claims he's learned his lesson
"I'll never make those mistakes again."
He didn't view them as mistakes
I know he still doesn't
I know sometime you're going to read this
And you're going to hate every word
Well, I'm enjoying every second of your agony
Why am I so malicious?
Because you're so heartless in things
You only say half the things you do
Out of worry of us knowing the truth of who you are
Just last week he preached to me about not caring
We've been over this
I've been over the facts
And I'm smarter than you
(676.) It Was Planted On My Birthday 02/14/07
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Will my memory out live the trees?
Will my children tell my tales to theirs?
Or will I die out a mortal?
Living my short life
And nothing more
I want not the popularity of history
Or the glory of a memory
I just want some man to be happier
Some odd lifetimes down the line
Thanks to the toil of my mind
The sweat of my soul
Give me not your fame
Only let me give you my legacy
(677.) Rippling Kisses 02/14/07
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I kisser her,
In a moment of love
There was no one there
No memories besides our own
I will never forget the look in her eyes
But there's nothing else
Her taste rests in my soul
Like a stone resting at the bottom of a lake
Skipped across the surface
Leaving no trace of the interaction
But sending ripples in my soul
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