(502.) Cassette One  11/28/05  11:57 P.M.
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Insert cassette one
Begin to play when I say
Let me hear my woes

I record my thoughts
My distant, illforgotten
Shell of my own mind

In hopes to find me
Hidden in a backward track
On side one, part B

I apologize
If the quaility is poor
Adjust your tracking

For can no words be
More clear than when I speak them
With my own half-smile


(503.) Same Old Heart, In This Broken New Body  11/29/05 12:06 A.M.
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You know me
With my strap on shoes
My quirky smile
I smile for you
Don't be scared
It's just me
With my taped glasses
Strange tails
Corny jokes
And an odd optimism
That's right
Your first poem
Written by me
For you
I hope you enjoy it
Silence is golden they often say
I think really,
it's only worth it's weight
In silver
Same old me
New to you
I'm surprised
This old heart
In this broken new body
Wants to be your friend
Wants for you to depend on it
To lean into the Christmas tree
I'm not making this sappy
Or romantic
Just asking a small favor
Care to hold my hand?
If that's a bit too much
How about just dinner and a movie?
Or whatever
Tickles your fancy


(504.) Trully, a Place of God 11/29/05 12:13 A.M.
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A single pink chair
Sat in the middle of the field
Like it really care
A children's chair like that of kindergarden days
An American monkey bar
The emptied pool
Burgendy broken car
Putt-Putt with crochet
Played tether ball
Trully, a place of God
Graffitti on the wall
Soccer balls and podiums
Volleyball courts filled with sand
Basketball goals on each end
Won over by slight of hand
With hopskotch in the middle
Flags flown high
But not tonight
Only things you see, illuminated by sky
No one's been here for a while
Bras hung from shelves
Panty hose drapped from door
Printer by the dryer
The golfballs on the floor
Scored a hole in one on Cross
Reconstructed where I walked
I held onto my cell phone
Into which I talked
Came around the corner
Felt I'll call it a day
Life so new cut short
Next to the place where people pray
I buried him under willow
Out in their backyard
The shovel broke the will
Of the ground so hard
Small cross made of sticks
Mark where he rest
Bought a pomegranate
Well, you know the rest

(505.) Thoughts On My Life      11/29/05 9:34 P.M.
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Fuck
That about sums it up.

(506.) Chlorophyll 11/29/05 9:58 P.M.
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Chlorophyll is the green coloration in leaves.
Photo-fucking-synthesis
Chlorophyll as a Photoreceptor
Traps this most elusive of all powers
THE SUN

(507.) Sexy Toaster 11/29/05 10:01 P.M.
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With your garter belt
Your sleek silver side of sex
Get out of my dreams

And into my pants
I am gonna make you toast
DING! The bread is done


(508.) Let Down 12/03/05 4:55 P.M.
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I often run away from things that I don't understand
Now is the time when I must make my stand
Against these woes
That no one knows
I put my faith in others
In my sisters and my brothers
So often have I been let down
By a simple smile or frown
I apolgize that I am so easily won
That I give up, that I am done
But man can only fight so long
Under the opression inflicted by the wrong
I still hold my head high
My dreams in the sky
Dreams that have no foundation but on me
Me, that is weak, but no one see
I, whom grows stronger with every burden taken
Is far too often at times mistaken
I should not have let anyone in
No talking should begin
No, nothing, with anyone
No fun.
I should travel with no crutch but mine
No burden crippling my spine
Know nothing
About something
I live
I give
That I so graciously hold out my open arms to recieve
Because it is something in which I believe
Faith leads me only to these nights
When I sit alone with my fears and frights
Thinking of all the injustice inflicted on my soul
That I stabbed with my own goal
Am I sad?
No, it's not that bad
I'm still happy being misunderstood
I'd just like to translate for someone if I could
So that I would not be alone
With no one on the phone
But me

(509.) Maroon Vomit 12/09/05 4:34 P.M.
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"I want to look pretty when I die"
She said to me with vomit on her lips
Maroon vomit
That reminded me of Bugs bunny


(510.) The Devil 12/10/05 3:54 P.M.
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I met the devil last night
In dream
He's a kind old man
With a warm smile
Six foot seven
Maybe more
Short white hair
Broad shoulders and large hands
I went to a gas station
To buy a dozen donuts
Had to get two Strawberry glazed
Two guys walked up and warned of the police inside
They'll take my $20
She bared her breasts and they moved on
My teacher was there and I broke my leg
I didn't realize it at first
I was at home
I had dropped her off at some time
I don't remember
I was asleep
As I walked outside to say hello
They bickered in the front yard
A woman stepped out of the car in the road
I thought she'd be okay
She was hit
I ran inside to call the police
I did
His wife commented on my lack of help
I ran outside to console her
Found only her fake legs
A pacemaker
5 magnets
A small pink child's helmet lay mere inches from the site
Back inside, a car began to drive through the house
He went onto the leather couch
I picked it up and sent them in the right direction
Through the kitchen
Out the backdoor
I hate that road
Mom cried
The house was burning down
I went outside to check
To try and find her again
I think maybe wolves
Had beaten us to the body
But no,
There she was
Standing upright
In white gown
A smile on her face
I remember her now
She was there when I was down
I had broken my soul
She was there to nurse me
I do not know her name
Her legs were real
Her eyes were bright
A red pick-up truck on the side of the road
The miracle healer walked out
Told me all things are possible
Through the lord
Six foot seven,
Maybe more
She called for me to dance with her
I heard a loud ringing
They told me to go around
That spot be her grave
I looked and saw only blood stained grass
One eye, 2 magnets
She threw down a lighter
It lit and bounced
She told me to walk through it
I tried but the lighter bounced lower
The gate had closed
She asked the man to help light and throw again
Tears were in my eyes
"Only you can do it"
He said with compassion in his voice
She reached for the lighter
She picked up a gun
The police came to investigate
The vehicular homicide that I called in
Two bullets hit their driver
He dove out of the car and shot her down
He started shooting at me
Two bullets went into my stomach
I dropped the gun I had and ran
She stood up and killed him
And 2 other police
The wolves began to chase me
The policeman shot them down
Then shot himself
I believe in miracles

(511.) Rearrival of My Health 12/10/05 11:16 P.M.
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Conflicting with Jesus and his followers
Who're all just appeasers of self-wallowers
I myself found a real rival in myself
I am hoping for the rearrival of my health
But to no avail I still pain
It's not close to hell but I feel the same
Don't have no cancer, no reason for a life
Just dashed my dreaming dancer of that wondrous strife
I apologize, I've said far too much
Let me restrategize and lose my touch
On reality and all this stuff
But in sobriety life is far too rough
I'll still be sick and march on again
My death will be quick and red my friend
Seeya be on the otherside of tommorrow
Maybe I'll be free to hide from my sorrow

(512.) Two Sleepers
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Two
They are frail
Sleeping by themselves
He comes
He watches
Gaurding the sleepers
If they ever woke
The world may end
Or true love may be made
Who knows?
Not I, who come to bedside
each night
Longing to kiss lips
Lips that lost their color
Lips that beg for embrace
One will love me
The other lust me
To end the world
Far too much burden
I apologize
True love
I apologzie
To be alone
It must be so
So I come long night
After long night
I love you
You have two faces
To save us all
I best not take a chance
I can never kiss you
I'll gaurd you but never act
I apologize

(513.) Soldiers On Yonder Hill
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So they froze there
Soldiers preparing on yonder hill
For battle with an enemy
That not single one can kill

(514.) Fell the Mother 12/15/05
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Mid all the chaos I stopped to watch him
How sadly he cried
Over the body of his fallen mother
His fallen mother who by my hands died

(515.) Syrupcide 12/15/05
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Blood feckled the faces of the man
Each mask more deranged than the last
Like syrup on a pancake, it filled every pore
Drowned out in a red tide
He just kept laughing,
Till he bled no more.

(516.) Uneven Floor 12/15/05
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A dash of spastic color mixed with lonliness
Shined on the uneven floor of the classroom

(517.)"Drive Me" 12/15/05
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Mall parking lot with doe blue eyes
Called vexingly
"Drive me."
This I did with heavy foot
light tires
hard wall

(518.) Pretty Doll 12/15/05
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She is from China
My last was from Mexico
I wish she were real

(519.)Smug Santa 12/15/05
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You crossed me off your list so smugly
What, you think you're Santa Claus?

(520.) Christmas Exchange 12/15/05
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Pivot heater warming the room slowly
Frail and so insecure
I'm sure I overstayed my welcome
I hope she liked her present
Undergarments stacked neatly on the bed
The cello sounded so out of tune
It's always such a long drive home
Everything's a little longer,
When you're alone.

(521.) Bind 12/15/05
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I didn't shake his hand to finalize the deal
I signed my name instead
My blood pailed tje silk white page
Atleast the contract is binding


(522.)Sunshine In My Head 12/26/05 12:03 A.M.
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They all want what's in my head
The sunshine shining down that I spread
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
How bright the sun shines down
Turning you a right side frown
All that sunshine in my head
Makes me wish that I was dead
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
Magna Carta signed my rights
I quit my fights
Cus I got the power of the sun
I am one
With that sunshine shining in my head
It's all about the joy that I spread
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
The flings they come and go
Sometimes they never know
That the light that I shine
It's all mine
It's all mine
So why should I be sad?
I did nothing bad
But shine on
Beat the dawn
With that sunshine shining in my head
It will wake you from your bed
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
I feel as if I cheat
With this power you can't beat
I shine on
I shine on
For the new dawn
Crowd you out
Make you shout
Make you want what I have lead
All this sunshine in my head
Make you wish that you were dead
With all the joy that I spread
It's in my head
In my head
In my head
I'm sorry that I bled
It's this sunshine bleeding in my head
Spreading over all I touch
You know the such
I cannot feel a thing
It has no affect all that pain that you bring
I give up but it fights on
Makes me beat out your dawn
All this sun
I am one
With this sun
Wish I were done
With sunshine in my head
Makes me wish it were dead
It's in my head
In my head
In my head

(523.) Silent Gray 12/27/05 3:42 A.M.
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Silent gray
I whispered I love you
To a girl who didn't care
She left
I knew I'd lost
The gray sky spoke a thousand words
Not a single one I understood
I was in hell
No reality
Could possibley show
The sadness
In every word
All one thousand sad words
Etched into the clouds
Who would soon be no more

(524.) I Couldn't Watch 12/27/05 3:46 A.M.
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With frozen tears on her face
I couldn't watch anymore
He wanted embrace
She walked out the door

(525.) God Is On Your Side 12/27/05 3:48 A.M.
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You deemed me unworthy
For the beauty you beheld
As deity you waved your hand
Soon I was forgotten
God is on your side

(526.) Little One Left Behind 12/27/05 3:58 A.M.
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Hush little one
I'm still here
Be still my dear
He has not won

I need love too
I'm a human being
These eyes aren't seeing
That you are you

I see a dark
That can't light
So I have no sight
I still carry her mark

It's hardest on
The one who's left behind
With a one of a kind
Black dawn

It's okay to cry
Just be patient and forgive
Try not to relive
Their reasons why